I’ll share my abortion story with you, because it’s important.

What is abortion? What is it to each individual woman who considers or chooses abortion? The latter question is the more compassionate and wise.

I will tell you my story of abortion and what I experienced and learned. I cannot speak for every woman who has gone through abortion, though, and there is a wide range of emotions felt and breakthroughs made. I have learned so so much through my abortion experience. I have learned how to truly discern my path, which is the path of Goddess. Through these experiences, I have experienced Divine Revelation of what it means to be human. Abortion has been a tremendous experience, for me. I have grieved heavily, never doubt that, over the loss of my child. Why is there an assumption that women who have abortions are cold hearted, evil doers? Plotting against their life’s destiny? This just isn’t the case.

Having an abortion was the hardest thing I’ve ever chosen to do, and I do mean choice, because hell yeah I had a choice. I had never felt so Divinely enabled to make a choice, and the pro/con list in my head was pretty well matched. For the couple years leading up to the abortion, I was a puppet in what I thought was God’s hands, using me as “He” saw fit. I’ve reconnected to my humanity and my ability to choose, and what I’ve learned is that what I choose, Goddess chooses. Our Humanity IS Divine!! The path I choose is truly the path that Goddess has for me. There’s no other path! We each get one path! So within choice, I felt deeply torn between my two options: keep the child or let it go. I would wake up in the middle of the night with a rush from dreams I had, lie in bed debating in my head and trying to seek the Truest and most real decision. But ultimately, it was not easy to take on the role of abort-er. Of casting this life I was given out of my womb.

I had been seeking what the meaning of sex is. I grew a deep reverence for our ability to create life here on Earth. I REPEAT, WE CAN CREATE LIFE!!! This is huuuuge! And I honestly had been pushing that Truth under the rug while I went to bed with someone. I wasn’t willing to step up to that Truth and be responsible and know my boundaries and what I wanted. I wasn’t considering the Mother and respecting Her hand. I underestimated Her ability to put a Spirit Life Child into my womb. Life is beaming, abundant, and desiring to fill us with itself. Now I honor and respect that, and bow down on my knees…which brings me to my next point: in the anti-abortion world there’s an underlying assumption that of course this baby wants to be born, and if the mother is going to cast the child away, then the mother and child must be at odds with each other.

This is just completely and entirely false.

Children, especially children who are still in the womb, are the closest to the Source. They are Beings of Unconditional Love. Therefore they have deep awareness and understanding, undoubtedly for their mother who carries them, feeds them, sacrifices her body for them. Do you really think this child is in the womb going, “Mom, whetherrr or not YOU want to, I want you to feed me, carry me for nine months, give the majority of your energy to grow me, birth me, breastfeed me for up to a few years, and then raise me and see me through life.”??? No. Life and the mother are deeply interconnected in a union of Love and Respect. The mother’s soul and will is interwoven with the child’s. Life wants to be born when the mother chooses it. Only then is life really at one with the world, and Life knows this. It honors it. It doesn’t shame the mother. LIFE LOVES WOMBYN.

The spirit of the child is especially not separate from its mother, but it’s also not separate from everyone and everything around us. Spirit is Spirit. What wombyn choose to bring onto this earth is what Goddess chooses to share with the world, a child to do the work it is destined for. The mother is priestess of knowledge. She knows the Divine’s will of whether or not this child has work to do on earth. Her desire to bring the child into the world is interwoven with this child’s destiny, whether it be life on earth or life in spirit, which is still life, manifested as the Whole.

The Mother is Life and she is Death. Go outside and look around: pale and withered leaves lying on the ground, rotting apples that fell from the tree. Scoop up a handful of soil and you’ll find the most perfect thing there is: a deep web of life that is dying and is now being used by billions of organisms and micro-organisms to bring new life. In the transition from summer to fall/winter, we can recognize that life blooms and fruits and then withers away to be reborn again in the spring. The rejection of Death in our Christian society has made us more separate from Mother Earth, pouring cement over her precious life-beaming soil and pushing chemicals through the sea floor to extract oil (our God-given “natural resource”??). I call bullshit. And so do many others. This isn’t working for us. We have created environmental havoc because we have impregnated Mother Earth without respect for life. Women get impregnated too without respect for life, the possibility of it coming out of a sexual experience. 

Wombyn truly are in a high seat of power. Wombyn can choose when to bring human life onto earth. Read that sentence again. Wombyn are creators, clear symbols of Mother Earth. Just as many humans rape the earth, take from her without asking, ASSUME they can till her soil and inseminate her with seeds and then spray her with chemicals (there’s no reverence!!!), many humans don’t respect women. They assume it’s her God-given duty to reproduce. Life wants to create and be born, but wombyn know when that time is, and they will tell you if you let them. Give her the respect and trust that is her birthright. I can attest to the power of being in an environment that holds me and supports me through abortion. It helped enable me to examine my actions clearly as I was being given Divine Revelation about respecting the fact that we can create life. Spirit Life Children (still in the womb) have something to give to the world, and when they’re not meant to be born into the physical world, they still have a message and a gift. I learned so much from my Spirit Life Child. She taught me how to face my darkness, to grieve, to be transparent with myself and others, to trust the Wise Woman within and Mother Earth who provides for us. If I had been in an environment that shunned me and pushed me down, guilt and shame may have been blockades from letting me see what this experience had to offer. It probably would have been much harder to come to a final resting place of respect for life, because I probably would have underlying feelings of anger for life. I don’t feel angry that life was put into my womb. I just have respect for that capability now, and I feel powerful. That power comes from a place of Light, Love, and Respect for All Beings. I finally understand respect.

If you are anti-abortion and believe you are doing what’s righteous because you are standing up for life, then please, look at the life you’re turning your back on. Look at that woman. Think of your humanity. And never assume anything about that woman or her experience. Trust before you judge.

I beg you, lend an ear to a woman if she ever confides in you about abortion. You are blessed and trusted if she has chosen to talk to you about it. What she can teach you is remarkable. Never assume though that you have the right to ask her about her abortion, or probe her with questions about her decision.

Please, open the door of curious attention to women who have had or are going to undergo an abortion. She has a teaching to give you. Just listen. Please.

1 in 3 American women will have an abortion by the age of 45.

6 out of 10 of those women have at least 1 child already.

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